I tried meditating once about 7 or 8 years ago. All I remember about the experience is sitting in a candlelit room with a bunch of strangers and having the instructor softly tell us to “empty our minds” over and over again. Every time she instructed us to do this, my teeth clenched a little tighter. You see my mind was full of random thoughts that were ping-ponging all over my brain and refusing to go away, no matter how hard I fought against them. It was a very frustrating experience so I proclaimed myself “bad at meditation” and didn’t try again. Until now. I’m not sure what sparked it but I have become fascinated with meditation recently and I now know that emptying our minds is not necessary, or even necessarily recommended, for a fulfilling meditation practice.
Why have I finally started flirting with meditation? For so many reasons but I guess a few of the main ones are these:
- The feeling that so many of us live in our heads, cut off from the signals that our bodies are valiantly trying to give us.
- Sleepwalking through so much of my day, not feeling present and not fully experiencing my life.
- Internet addiction. The opposite of being mindful and present. Next time you’re out in public, on transit or just walking down the street, really observe how many people are glued to their phones, missing out on the real world around them.
- I’ve heard it can be anti-aging (anything to keep the botox and fillers at bay!)
And I’ve been practicing on my own in my little living room. I’ve been lighting candles and playing rainforest music in the background to set the stage. Every time I meditate, I find it easier to sink into my body. Memories of old pain come up once in awhile and I sit with it and accept it and listen to what it has to tell me. Sometimes the pain comes up several times before it goes away. I’m patient and loving and stay with it until it transforms into something else (even if this takes days or weeks).
Also, I’ve recently learned how to do a Loving Kindness Meditation and I’ll like to share it with you:
Loving Kindness Meditation
This practice involves silently repeating phrases that offer good things to yourself and to others.
- You can start by thinking about your own goodness—remembering things you have done out of good-heartedness and celebrating the potential for goodness we all share.
- Silently repeat phrases that reflect what we wish most deeply for ourselves (and others). Traditional phrases are:
• May I live in safety.
• May I have peace and joy in my life.
• May I have good health and freedom from pain.
• May I live with ease.
- Say the phrases with enough space and silence between so they fall into a rhythm that feels natural to you.
- Each time you notice your attention has wandered, be kind to yourself. Notice the distraction and either let it go or realize that it is here for you to stay with and, think about. When you’re ready, come back to repeating the phrases without any judgement toward yourself.
- After some time, visualize yourself in the center of a circle composed of those who have been kind to you, or have inspired you because of their love and guidance. They are your circle. As you visualize yourself in the center of it, experience yourself as the recipient of their love and attention. Keep gently repeating the phrases of loving kindness for yourself.
- To close the session, let go of the visualization, and simply keep repeating the phrases for a few more minutes. Each time you do so, you are transforming your old, hurtful relationship to yourself, and are moving forward, to a presence full of love.
And that is it. A simple, loving-kindness meditation. If you try it, please let me know how it goes in the comment section. Namaste xo